Life management skills

Hmm this post i am going to talk about what i have learnt over the past 14 weeks in life management skills.

Life management skills has provided me with a alot of skills when come to times of anger, conflict etc. These skills have make my life easier and living to the fullest of myself with no conflicts and whatsoever!!! Most importantly it keeps me happy and enjoy learning it and it does help me in lots of way such as when we are doing group projects. How to manage our anger during a miscommunication with team members, how to prevent conflict and handle conflict. I think with these skills i can work better when i am in working life and of course life in ngee ann poly. And i will pass down these skills to whoever i know!

I have learn some strategies on managing anger During times of group discussion such as:
-Relaxation:

Some simple steps you can try:

o There are some simple steps to relax. Firstly,Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won't relax you.Secondly, Picture your breath coming up from your "gut."

o Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax," "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.

o Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.

o Do some relaxing yoga-like exercises that can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.

-Cognitive Restrcturing :

•Remind yourself that getting angry is not going to fix anything, that it won't make you feel better as it will troubles u more.

•Remind yourself that the world is "not out to get you," you're just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life.

•Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it's justified, can quickly become irrational.

-Problem solving :

§The best attitude is to how u solve and handle your problems

§Always make your plan and give it the best to resolve.

§ It is better to face it with your best intentions and efforts and make a serious attempt to face it head-on, you will be less likely to lose patience

-Better communication :

•slow down and think through your responses

•Don't say the first thing that comes into your head, but slow down and think carefully about what you want to say

•At the same time, listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.

•It's natural to get defensive when you're criticized, but don't fight back. Instead, listen to what's underlying the words: the message that this person might feel neglected and unloved.

•Keeping your cool can keep the situation from becoming a disastrous one.

-Using humor :

ØPicture the word that you going to scold a person into a funny imaginative picture.

ØDraw a picture of what acutual thing might look like.

ØThere are two cautions:

ØFirstly, Don’t “laugh off” your problems

ØSecondly, Don’t give in to harsh , sarcastic humor

The above will help u to cool down and lessen the situation from getting worse.

I am very very satisfied me and my team mates manage our group assignments and conflict encountered.

We have manage our assignments quite well i say, we have include all the points needed in the presentation and we have find our time for doing these assignments even though i am different class from the other three. We also try to find better solutions when problems come in our way and we have never give up when problems come ahead! with these problems then we can improve together as a team! Even though we have some conflicts through those discussions, we could give way to each other and come up with good solutions! and will try to avoid any conflicts cause because we are one happy team! =D

I have developed better in self awareness. Aware of my own flaws and make it better even though it cannot be change and i have gain confident through the following weeks with life management skills lesson. I will not let any negative thoughts get through me instead think of the positive sides!

That's all i am going to blog ! thanks Teacher for teaching us so much about life management skills if not we will not be about to improve ourselves further!! =D

Unit 6: MANAGING CONFLICT!!!!!!

Unit 6: MANAGING CONFLICT!ow!!!!!
Hmmm This week i am learning what is MANAGING CONFLICT!!!! and to manage conflict!!!
definition of conflict:
Conflicts involve struggles, disagreements, disputes or quarrels. Conflict arises when two or more groups perceive that their needs, interests, views, values or goals are incompatible. More precisely, conflict occurs when the actions of one party taken to reach his/her goals prevented or interfered with the actions taken by another party to reach his/her goals defined as “an action that is incompatible with another action.

Basic Concepts Underlying Conflict:
Needs:

What you want in a conflict; usually fundamental in nature; intangible like security, safety, identity, or recognition, etc.

Interests:
What you want to achieve in the conflict
Values:
Values are fundamental beliefs that are non-negotiable.
Types of Conflict
Relationship Conflict: it is caused by poor communication
Data conflict: it is caused by lack of information
Interest based conflict: Interest conflicts are caused by competition over perceived incompatible needs.
Structural conflict: Structural conflicts are usually caused by forces external to the people in dispute. Structural conflicts are caused by negative patterns of behaviour or interaction
Value based conflict:Value-based conflicts are caused by perceived or actual incompatibility in values, goals and worldview.

Conflict Management Styles Questionnaire

For each conflict in the following list, indicate which of the two alternatives you would most likely do. Circle A or B of the statement that is most like what you would do. Even if you might not do either A or B, select the action that would be most likely to happen.

1. You and your sibling (or parents) both want to use the computer at the same time.

A I would give up wanting it; no questions asked.

B I would try to force the other party to let me use the computer first.

2. You were upset with a friend for not doing her share of the work for a project. In effect, you did the entire project by yourself.

A I would not tell her how I feel but I would give up on her as a good friend.

B I would listen carefully to my friend’s reasons, and if his reasons were good, I would not let the tutor know that she hasn’t done a thing.

3. You and a classmate both want to use the printer at the same time.

A I would give in to my classmate and write her off as a friend.

B I would ask to solve the problem by suggesting that one person prints the documents for both of us. In the end, both of us wait the same amount of time.

4. You and a classmate both don’t want to be the presenter for the group.

A I would give in to my classmate and write her off as a friend.

B I would compromise by working out an arrangement for alternating the role of presenters for future presentations.

5. You and your friend both are deciding where to go for dinner.

A I would try to force my friend to go where I want to eat even if this will upset her.

B I would listen carefully to my friend and if she is able to convince me, I would let her have her way because a good friend is important.

6. You and your classmate are working on a group project. Both of you want to draw the illustrations, neither wants to write the report.

A I would insist on drawing the illustrations, not caring if she was angry or upset with me.

B I would compromise by agreeing for each of us to draw half the illustrations and write half the report.

7. Your neighbour told you to clean the drain outside your house as the dead leaves can harbour mosquito breeding grounds. You see no reason why you should be the one doing all the hard work when it is a common drain.

A I tell my neighbour to clean the drain himself if the dead leaves are bothering him.

B I would ask for both of us to work on cleaning the drain together since it is a common drain that lies between both your properties.

8. You and your date are going to a movie. You have been dying to watch “Superman” but your date insists on watching “Pirates of the Caribbean”.

A I would choose to watch “Pirates of the Caribbean” because my relationship with my date is important.

B I would suggest that both of watch the animated film “Cars” instead.

9. Your colleague told several other people some unflattering information about you.

A I would listen carefully to why he said those negative things about me, and if his reasons were more valid, I would forgive him.

B I would try to solve the problem by asking my colleague what happened and work out an agreement where you will discuss differences openly.

10. You believed that you did most of the work on a joint project; so did your colleague.

A I would compromise by agreeing that we both did half.

B I would try to solve the problem by reviewing each aspect of the paper and decide who had done how much on that aspect.

SCORING INDEX

Circle the letters below that you circled on each question. Then total the number of letters circled in each column.

Question	Turtle	Shark	Teddy Bear	Fox	Owl
1	A	B
2	A		B
3	A			B
4	A				B
5		A	B
6		A		B
7		A			B
8			A	B
9			A		B
10				A	B
Total	1		3	2	4
Style

yay! im a owl! =D

Collaborating (The Owls) When your goals and relationships are highly important to you, you want to act like an owl. You will negotiate to seek solutions that satisfy your goals and those of the other person so that a high-quality relationship can be maintained. Owls see conflict as a means of improving relationships by reducing tension between two persons. They are not satisfied until the tensions and negative feelings have been fully resolved.

2. Conflict Management Styles: Exercise

You have lived in your housing estate for many years. Your house is at the end of the road and has convenient access to the park opposite. It is a common practice for residents in the area to park their cars outside their houses. Then one day, your neighbour, John, asked if he could park his car outside your house. You agreed since you were not a car-owner and didn’t need the parking space anyway. After six years, John sold away his house and moved away. One day, you came back to see a huge commercial van parked outside your house and obstructing the access to the park. You intercepted the driver and asked him what he was doing. He told you that John had told him he could park his van there. You replied that John had no right to give him the permission to park there as the space belonged to you. Moreover, the huge van was obstructing your view of the park. The man said that he only needed the space for about five months as he would be moving away. ACCOMMODATING RESPONSE: I would lend out the space to him since it’s only for 5 months. I hope that everybody is happy with it. Because I want to maintain our good relationship between each other. AVOIDING RESPONSE: I would not say anything more and instead lend him the space since I am not using anyway. I would be keeping quiet, letting others overthrown me. COMPETING RESPONSE: I would not lend out the space to him . I will fight with him until he gave up and move away and always believe that the space is mine not his. COLLABORATING RESPONSE: I would find a way where both of us benefits and prevent from argueing.

Through this unit (managing conflict)
i Had learnt a lot about the good relationship we should maintain with each other instead of arguing with each other. And methods of how to manage conflict and preventing it from getting worser. I will use these methods wisely when conflicts come over, and solve it in the best way where both parties benefit because i like collabarating with others!

Self-awareness 7th may 2008

Hey ! im back again to add in more that i left out.. haha ..=.=" ..
qns 1) What do you find meaningful or useful from the discussion about self-awareness and self-esteem?
Ans: i find self-awareness and self esteem are meaningful and useful as it helps us to create a better impression to others , this enable us to present ourselves more presentable and able to create a better relationship with people.Secondly we can improve our openness to others and increase our social sensitivity. Thirdly we can take appropriate actions to respond to respond to tough situations, such as when people are fighting and u are they to stop them. Through this discussion allows me to know more about myself and what to do to improve myself and create a impression that i want . To me most importantly is to change your negative beliefs and change it to a positive beliefs and improve on our weak personality and enable us to become a better person in life.

Qns 2) What are some of the factors affecting your self-image and self-esteem negatively? How do you intend to deal with or manage these negative influences and raise your self-esteem?
Ans : Some factors such as confident , patient and capability . I am goin to deal with my confident by saying to myself that i can do it and also to practise my speech in front of a crowd especially when i am doin a presentation. i am going to tell myself that these negative influences cannot influence me in any situations.

Qns 3) Imagine yourself in 5 years time. What positive things would you like people to remember you for? How different are you “today” compared to the “you five years from now”? What are the obstacles or fears that you have to overcome to become the “you five years from now”? How do you intend to overcome them?

Ans: In 5 years time i hope that people would remember me as a cheerful , friendly ,outgoing and happy person. I hope that five years from now i will be able to communicate to people more effectively and do things confidently . And to help people out when they are in need . Some obstacles such as not letting any negative beliefs to affect me . I going to overcome by telling myself that im a great person and think of postive things.

Self awareness... 30/4/08

Hi everyone!! i'm back blogging. Last wk on the 30/4/08, our teacher teached us on self awareness and what is it about. The most important word on "Self-awareness" is introspection which means the way u look at yourself. Previously on my first posting i also explain what is about self awareness . Self awareness is important because we can present ourself properly and give others a good impression on you, to take correct actions to respond to difficult situations or manage negative emotions, improve your openness to others and enchances social sensitivity, communicate and interact with others more effectively and lastly work towards becoming what you want to be. So after our teacher explains to us about self awareness , we were suppose to do a personal invetory on how i see on my self in terms of my personality. so the following is my results :

I am…

adventurous	2		fearful	1		organised	1
ambitious	2		flexible	2		outgoing	2
articulate	2		foolish	1		overbearing	0
boring	1		friendly	3		passive	2
bossy	0		frustrated	1		patient	1
capable	1		generous	2		physically fit	2
caring	2		good-natured	3		predictable	1
charming	1		happy	2		principled	1
cheerful	3		Helpful	2		proud	0
confident	1		independent	1		reliable	2
considerate	2		indecisive	2		responsible	2
creative	1		intelligent	2		stubborn	2
critical	1		irritable	0		self-aware	2
cynical	0		kind	2		sensitive	2
demanding	0		lazy	2		serious	1
dependable	1		logical	2		shy	2
depressed	1		lovable	2		stupid	1
determined	2		loyal	2		supportive	2
disciplined	2		leader	2		temperamental	0
diligent	2		negative	0		thoughtful	2
embarrassed	1		observant	1		tolerant	2
energetic	1		open-minded	1		trustworthy	2
enthusiastic	2		optimistic	2		warm	1

hmm and so after this test i found out 6 personalities that best describe me , that are cheerful, happy, friendly, generous , outgoing, energetic. And also from the list of adjectives, i think that good natured , cheerful and friendly enable me to be able to make lots of friends. From the following adjectives that i scored not that well is confident, i going develop my confident by talk more in front of a crowd especially when i am doing a presentation.

After these exercises, we move on on how we can enhance our self-esteem. Firstly is to value myself which consists of acknowldeging and appreciate my positive qualities. We should appreciate myself and learn to move away from being overly focussed on your shortcomings which can erode my self-esteem. Secondly, Practise self-affirmation. Learn to affirm my positive qualities through having postive thoughts about myself that i say repeatedly to myself. This self-affirmation can develop positive thinking and build confidence .

And the following 5 affirming statements that i can make about myself:

1. I am a confident person

2.I can be a more independant person.

3. i can be a patient person

4. i am a creative person

5. i am a charming person

Secondly is to dael with Negative beliefs. It means the beliefs that we hold about ourselves , about others and life , and can influence our self-esteem and our behaviour.

Here are some of the limiting beliefs that i hold:

i am incompentant person, i cannot do things well....

If i wear fashion clothes , people will think that i am attractive.

Thirdly , we should let go of limiting beliefs so we can be a better person.

overall , i think that self awareness and self esteem is important so it can let us be a better person , and able to communicate with people more effectively and create a large range of networks in future with people that are willing to help u out in job or in business.